The day before yesterday I had one of those days where you feel like throwing in the towel. Nothing was working out as it was supposed to; at least this one thing wasn’t according to me. As you can imagine, this didn’t help my mood at all. I became irritable and most of the words I uttered after that were words of sarcasm and destruction. I was a walking time bomb. Yes, my whole world was turned upside down because of this one setback. Nothing else made sense; nothing seemed beautiful or functional in my life at that instant.
Fast forward a few hours, I was seated in a bus on my way home, after treating myself to a mug of ginger lemon tea. I subconsciously started humming a song from Sunday school days, . For a while, I kept at it while my eyes busied themselves with the landscape outside the window. Then like a bang, reality checked in and I became aware of the very words I uttered. ‘Count your blessings’, I had sung, as if to someone else. Why hadn’t I done that myself? I felt a hot feeling burn through my body and I feared people might have noticed had it not been for my chocolate complexion. It was a feeling of shame as the realization hit me. I had been blessed with so many things, especially in this year. How could have forgotten about it all? How could I have behaved the way I had?
At this, I realized that even the very basics of my being were gifts. First, my life, my health: gifts I didn’t deserve. At this thought, my eyes clouded with tears of regret and blurred my view of the beauty outside. Yes, I had eyes that could see and without aid! This only made me realize how important my other basic senses were to me such as my nose, ears, and hands. How arrogant had I been to miss these kinds of blessings? I was jolted back when the bus abruptly came to a halt. The stop lasted longer than it should and I wondered why but I couldn’t turn yet for fear my neighbor would notice my tear-stained face. But when we finally started again, the reason became clear as I remembered the middle-aged man I had seen struggle with his crutches. He had one leg. I had two that could balance in high heels and take me anywhere the mind wanted to go. Yes, the mind that contained the ability to calculate numbers making me one of the few ladies that can actually handle math. And I was headed home, a luxury that those I had left seated on the streets could only dream of. Need I even mention my job? I have never felt so lowly about myself before. I felt like a spoilt brat. I could afford my needs and wants and yet I had taken it all for granted. How could I not have seen it all, how could I have missed the beauty? And with this, another beautiful realization fell on me. I was loved, loved unconditionally by He who had also given me all these. At that, I afforded a smile. That smile that people claim exposes a beautiful soul. He gave that to me too.
In the New Year, I started a new wonderful job, something I had been really praying for. I have been awarded peace of mind by learning to let go of those that had previously taken it away. For the first time in my whole life I can say that my money is actually working for me and not the other way round. The best part of it all, I had a partner that has been holding my hand and making this revolution worth the while. Life was good and I was happy. I can’t lose these dear friends, I mustn’t. No one should.
So I choose to count my blessing in every sunrise and sunset, in every smile and tear, in every storm and shine; I choose to see the good. I will write them down and stick them all around my room if that’s what it takes to remember but remember I will. So should you beloved. Let no day pass with your face downcast, look up every chance you get: let the bright stars cheer you up. Find the positive side of every occurrence lest the darkness makes you forget to live, to really live. Count them every day and you will be surprised because the fact is, even on the darkest day; the good outweigh the bad. Focus on the good the not so good will sort itself out.